Unfortunately, because these feelings are rooted in our history, we rarely, if ever, get the reassurance we seek from acting out our old defenses in the present. Likewise, he may try to forbid you from seeking employment, choosing your own clothing, cutting your hair or making other basic day-to-day decisions. These feelings can spring from deeper struggles we have with trust, low self-esteem, fears of rejection, loss or intimacy itself. Danger Signs of Possessive Relationships Anna Green Possessive relationships may involve manipulation or abusive dynamics.
This might take the form of name-calling, rudeness, sarcasm or critical remarks. As adults, we may project these feelings onto our partner, feeling like we need to make things happen, remind them to notice us, etc. A possessive partner may try to forbid you from holding a job or managing your own money. This negative self-concept can lead us to act out all kinds of jealous or insecure behaviors with our partner.
This might take the form of name-calling, rudeness, sarcasm or critical remarks. So how can you stop the possessive patterns in your relationship? Resist engaging in jealous, authoritative, or punishing behaviors — Actions like surveillance will only alienate our partner and drive a wedge between us.
However, spotting a possessive relationship is not always easy. This is the only way we can truly know that we are loved and chosen by a free person. Thus, partners who see warning signs may want to look closely at the relationship, even if things seem to be going well.
About the Author Lisa Firestone, Ph. Possessive individuals may become angry over seemingly minor incidents, such as if you arrive home 10 minutes late. Regardless of the level of possessiveness, such relationships are typically unhealthy.
For example, we may on some core level feel unlovable or like no one would ever choose us. A possessive partner may try to forbid you from holding a job or managing your own money. How to Create a More Equal and Trusting Relationship The subject of having a possessive or controlling relationship partner may feel worlds away from the sweet sentiment behind asking someone to be your Valentine. Along with this, he may accuse you of cheating or be suspicious of innocent behaviors such as sending an email or a text message.
Posted by: Taubar | on October 2, 2012
As adults, we may project these feelings onto our partner, feeling like we need to make things happen, remind them to notice us, etc. For example, your partner might threaten to leave you if you do not do exactly what he wants.
About the Author Lisa Firestone, Ph. These early experiences shaped our expectations about relationships and the defenses we formed then still play out in our lives today.
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